Friday, November 14, 2008
Just feel like crying
It's just one of those days. I'm miserable, getting sicker; now along with my snotty nose I'm getting a dry cough and snot is turning green again!! (Sorry if TMI) And to top it all off I'm sure that AF is coming to see me tomorrow. Right on Time. That means that all the things I've done this cycle didn't even postpone her 1/2day!! I feel so defeated, which isn't like me. I'm the glass is half full kinda person, but just not today. Nothing seems to be working out. Maybe it was my attitude this whole month, kinda neg from the start. I just couldn't let my hopes get up again only to have disappointment. But what I got was a shitty attitude for a month WITH the disappointment. This was only my 4th try with fresh, 4th month in a row of ttc. I just don't know how many of you do this month after month after month with no results. I don't see myself being able to do that. Sure I would try a couple of months, but then would have to have a break before going again. Wishing I could curl up on the couch with a good book and doze off and on all day, but of course I know that won't happen b/c I have soo much to do on my day off!
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1 comment:
Oh, sweetie, I wish I could be there to help. This journey is so tough and some days it's hard to imagine ever being able to do it again. The dream keeps that hope alive and it's the hope that drives you. I look at a BFN cycle of 28 days with about 23-24 days of hope and about 4-5 days of despair and devastation. When I look at my whole journey so far since trying IUIs, I've had 399 days of hope and 43 days of despair. That's what drives me...the hope.
Hang in there sweetie! We're all here for you! (((HUGS)))
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