Heartache

Today is day one after an early miscarriage. I am still in a daze and feeling quite drained. To have my greatest dream come true only to be once again snatched away from me is devastating. I was very early in my pregnancy and hadn't told anyone yet, not even my DH. Calling him yesterday in tears is nothing I want to relive. The poor guy was speechless, and I don't blame him. I guess luckily my personality and disposition doesn't allow me to wallow in my own self-pity, even though I wouldn't mind doing that exact thing right now. I am already moving on and trying to form a plan. But perhaps that isn't the best course of action right now. I Should be grieving, I should be crying. But I'm not, I can't; I'm afraid that if I start I might not stop for days.