Ok so anyone who's read my blog knows a little history with her and here's the latest. Basically since she got out of jail this last time she's had a warrant for not going to court. And she's been in the next state hiding out and even refusing to come to Idaho to see us for her birthday (and we bribed with money.) At first she was talking how her and this woman had a plan to stay out of trouble, get their GED's and finish up her court stuff. Well that lasted oh about a wk. Since then when she does call she's either drunk or high or just spouting crap out of her mouth that you don't want to hear about. For instance how her dealer "kidnapped" her b/c her friend ripped them off.
Anywho, the other wk I get a text from her on how sad she is that it's a boy and that she cried and we'll just need to try again. Well this really irrated me since we hadn't even gotten a phone call on DS or my bday. It shouldn't bother me but it did. So I wrote back it's not all about what she wants and she wrote 'well yes it is since I'm the only 1 I care about'. Well ok then, fine. So I quit texting her until last night when she text me. It went something like this:
her: guess what
me: what (and for some odd reason I just knew she'd write: I'm pg!)
her: I'm pregnant
me: for sure
her: yeah but I don't want it
me: too late for that don't you think
her: not really
me: well that's a choice you'll have to live w/the rest of your life
Let me add that she's done this before; the saying she's pg when she's really not. The last time was when her mom died and she thought the guy would want to stick around and then she wouldn't have to come and live with us. That pg never excisted.
Awhile ago we took her to an endocrinologist to check out PCOS; she's got all the classic symptoms plus since the age of 12 she's slept around (a lot) and has never gotten pg. That Dr said she didn't have it but I just didn't agree.
With no way to see her and see for myself that she's really pg I'm stuck with this feeling of she's doing it again for attention, yet at the same time I wonder and worry. I figure if she's really pg (and doesn't terminate) then she'll show up soon looking for our help. If she's not then this pg will just "go away" again like last time. And in the mean time I don't need to stress myself out. I really really really really really hope she's not pg. I know for a fact that she's not willing to give up her drug lifestyle and grow up and put the baby first. This has always been our biggest fear with her. Sorry to ramble, just a lot going through my mind with this.
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