O'ing Early

So here it is cd 11 and I'm O'ing early. I wasn't even gonna start using OPK's until tomorrow, thank god I monitor my cervix or I would be missing out this month!! Had already wasted fmu so will opk in an hr or 2 with digital. I'm sure I'll be seeing a smiley. Now all I'll have to do is arrange for special "donation" tonight and friday. I'm so excited.

What if's

Nerves. Stress. Those are just some of the things I'm feeling as O time approaches. I'm excited that I'm trying again, to have the Potential of a + is overpowering. But at same time I'm nervous, What if it works only to end in chemical again. What if it doesn't work. What if it does and I'm able to carry it. The what if's are driving me crazy.!! So today I'm glad I'm working so the What if's don't have time to completely drive me over the edge. But watch out come Friday, my day off plus that much closer to O I'll be a basketcase.

Side note: after mc I re-read all my ttc books, ordered a new one off Amazon and requested several from the library. So soon I'm going to do brief book reports on them all in an effort to save someone else from having to read them all. lol As some are good and others I'm amazed they even got published.

My poor DH

I called him yesterday on 1 of my work breaks and he tells me he hit the windshield. What! He drives Dump Truck and he was dumping a load and the piston (the thing that pushes the truck bed up) broke!! and it flew forward, smashed the back of cab and he flew first up to hit the roof and then forward and hit the windshield!! Of course I was concerned but he's such a toughy that he blew it off, that he was fine. Well he was OK, but dazzed. He's typically worked as a Logger his whole life and he's been hurt pretty bad and still went on to work full day. So this, with no blood, was nothing. If anyone caught the show "Axemen", that is exactly what he's been through but worse since he's done Logging mostly without the big equipment, so he's the one running around doing all the work.

Feeling slightly better

My cold is hanging around but not soo bad. The pressure is gone, now I'm left with the wonderful snotty nose. My poor nose is all red and irratated. I'm just glad that the cold didn't hang on for weeks. I've been trying really hard to drink all my water everyday and I think it really helped to flush it out of my system. The water also seems to help me sleep better. I'm the type that tosses and turns every 5 mins, and I wake up actually feeling rested. So my tip for the day is DRINK YOUR WATER!

Change of Plans?? Maybe

Well I know that I originally said I wasn't going to AI, but I may be having a change of heart. I saw my donor today and told him about pg and mc. He was bummed. His plans have changed and he may be in town wkend of O time. Sooo I'm thinking about going ahead with AI. I just can't get past this feeling of positive attitude. I mean to be so down early this wk, to bounce back and feel like I should do it, I feel that I should go with my gut. Plus everyone says you're super fertile after mc and I keep having this feeling like What IF I am super fertile and don't I'll have missed my chance. Maybe it's just the total over powering ttc feeling we all get, but I have to go for it. If cycle stays on course and isn't messed up by mc, then O time should be around Halloween or that wkend.

Oh I had a good laugh yesterday

This lady I work with got a picture message on her phone yesterday. And she thought it was a harmless halloween picture and forwarded it off to about 20 people. Well awhile later a guy calls wanting to know who sent this dirty picture to his wife. She was confused and said she sent off a halloween 1 and he told her she better look again. Well she's all upset and I told her to let me see, maybe it wasn't that bad. I open up the phone and it looks like this "white background, (man's white shirt),down lower is the mask off Scary Movie and off to the both sides is tan" Well what she thought was the "tongue" of the mask moving around WAS NOT a tongue!! The mask was in the crotch of a guy-and you can use your imagination to figure out what it really was!! Oh boy did I laugh so hard I was crying and my stomach hurt. I felt really bad for her, but it was so funny what happened I kept giggling about it all night!!

Where has the time gone

Here I am 31 1/2 yrs old and still have not concieved. It's hard to think that as a young 23yr old I figured that my bf and I would immediately get pg and life would be good/normal. Well after that initial yr of trying things went kinda asqew. Maybe I should be happy with the DS we have, be happy with only 1 child; but I just can't let this go. From a very early age I knew I wanted children. In a crowd of people I'm always the one that ignores the grownups and plays with the kids (have always done this). Over the years we've been able to try only sporatically, for 1 reason or another. For a time I simply put it out of my head, I didn't even concider it, I couldn't. But now it's this drive in me, I'm not going to put it off any longer. If it's within our grasp I will do this. Some how some way I will make it work. I'm still hoping to make it a short journey though, I hope that it's something simple, something fixable like a prog shortage that is corrected within the first month of Dr AI. Now wouldn't that be nice.

Side note here: received my fertility tea last night and I brewed some up. The plan is to drink 1 cup in am, 1 cup in pm every day. The book says it may take 2-3 months for tea to help regulate cycle. In that time I'm hoping to see a lengthening in my cycle, if I don't then I will be at Dr by that time. So bottom's up!